Just Beachy

It's summer, the perfect time of year to head out to the seashore and soak up all the natural wonders the beach has to offer.

You know, like the native wildlife:


The clear blue skies,


The majestic palm trees,

The completely family-friendly blue-lined mushroom thingies,


And of course all the great sea life:


[gasping] "Darn you, Valdez. Darn you to heck."

Hey Sue S., Sharon, Alyska B., Sharon R., & Anony M., you know what's pastier than a Minnesotan in January? A Floridian in July. Yep. Now shut the door and hand me my sweater; you're letting all the cold air out.

- Related Wreckage: Marcus and the New Job

Reality Bit

NOTE: This post was written several days ago, and was not intended to be a commentary on any breaking news events. My sincere apologies to any who may find it offensive.

Cake artists, can we talk? I feel like we need to have a little heart-to-heart.

Ok, here's the deal: I know that you guys are talented - I do! - and I get that you like to showcase your talent with the cakes you make.

The only problem is, when you make something like this:

Photo removed at baker's request

 

Well, no one wants to eat it.


Not to mention it's depressing; could that look any more funereal?

 

Look at it from the cake consumer's perspective: would you want to slice into a sleeping baby?

 

"I call butt!"

 

 

Or worse, have a toddler's eyeball staring up at you from your plate?

 

Yeah, I didn't think so.

So cake sculptors, please, stop making us choose between cake deprivation and feeling like a cannibal. If you must make a baby cake, make it nice and cartoony - preferably with no basis in reality whatsoever.

You know, like this:

 

Three arms, a gravity defying diaper, and crazy sunglasses? Yep, I'd eat that.

 

 

Heather S., Steven K., Michelle G., & Liz J., does that kid really have a 3rd arm sprouting from his chest? Why...I think he does. Pass the milk!

 

Update: Tons of you are saying that's a butt crack, not an arm. (The rest claim it's Epcot.) I can almost see that, but I still think it looks more like an arm. ;)

- Related Wreckage: You Say Goodbye, and I Say Hello