Dora the Engorger

"Hey there, Dora, something seems different today!

"Did you change your hair?"

"Or maybe start a career in pillow smuggling?"

Ok, ok, to be fair, Dora might be pregnant. It's just a lot less traumatizing to imagine her purple monkey friend is stuffed down her pants holding a basketball. And wow are there a lot of things wrong with that statement.

Still, you must admit: her face looks good on paper...stuck on cake.

Ok, maybe you don't have to admit that.

Oh, and Dora, sweetie, didn't anyone ever tell you to match your foundation to your double chins? Take it from a girl who knows: it's all about the blending. And scarves. Scarves are awesome.

Now I know you can't put a price on perfection, but fortunately this labor of...labor...only cost wreckporter Becky S. a measly two hundred and seventy five dollars. However, she also reports, "when I complained to the bakery, I was told they wished they had charged us more because they had so much work in it." So I guess the price just went up if you want a similar piece of...work. Sorry, guys.  Maybe they'll give you a discount if you bring your own basketball.

Ahhhhh....GOOF OFF!!

Good morning!

[tapping fingers on keyboard]

[yawning]

[going back to bed]

...

2 hours later

...

I'm up! I'm up. Sort of.

So, as you know, today is International Goof-Off Day. Yep, international law clearly prohibits you from doing anything productive today, so you should tell your boss you'll be napping under your desk and/or playing Angry Birds all afternoon. (Maybe do that via e-mail...sometime tomorrow.)

Other than more naps and possibly making waffles later, *I* plan to celebrate by expending even LESS effort than usual on today's post. I know, I know; you didn't think that was possible.

Well, BEHOLD!!

This is a dinosaur:

This is a basketball:

This is The World's Best Resignation Letter:

This is a divorce cake:

Obviously.

And this is the most ridiculous flamingo/poo-dropping/Peeps/Jack Daniels wedding cake I have ever seen:

(Yes, they even cut holes through the cake tiers for the pillars. We can only hope it was done ironically.)

Nice to see we're not the only ones goofing off around here, eh?

Thanks to Reihonna F., Erin M., Sebastian S., Linda N., & Melanie R. for helping us get in the holiday spirit. May your naps be plentiful, and all your birds extra angry. 

[John! Where'd you put the Nutella? It's WAFFLE TIME.]