Hold Your Horses, Brides-To-Be

The day Jen and Nick truly became one:

That moment when you realize your wedding cake looks like a giant stack of toilet paper:

Ouch. Talk about a wipe out.

Or the moment you realize your wedding cake looks like... um... it... blew its top?

But in a SUPER classy way.

(Tell me I'm not the only one seeing this.)

Of course, those are both so beautifully done I can practically feel your eyes twitching from here, minions. So allow me to cleanse your palate, as it were:

Mmm, chewy.

And in keeping with the spoopy season, here's a wedding cake even the cutest bat topper in the world couldn't save:

"I am vengeance. I am the night.
"... I am completely wrecked."

P.S. Speaking of cake toppers, everyone can relax, 'cuz I finally found it.
Here it is, the World's Weirdest Wedding Topper:

Whoa.

Thanks to Charlotte H., Emily S., Gezina, Becky K., Amy M., & Beth R., who sees what I did there.

*****

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Get It Together, Bakeries

Wrecky minion Aryn took this photo last Sunday, October 23rd:

OCTOBER 23RD.

So this bakery is selling Christmas cakes two major holidays before Christmas. Which would be awesome for pranking that friend who passed out after drinking too much, but otherwise... da heck?

And if you think Christmas Creep is bad, wait'll you see Easter Creep:

A pink Easter Egg cake... made October 19th.

Because it's never too early to stock up on "decorated" egg cakes in October, you guys.

It actually gets worse when bakeries try to be seasonally appropriate:

Orange icing + crappy turtle pancake = "Fall!"

White pointy-headed "ghosts" + anything = FAIL!

Seriously, let's talk about all the ways this is a bad idea.

Oh yes, please, put them on white cupcakes. THAT HELPS SO MUCH.

Speaking of not helping, you know how all the creepy clowns in the news have McDonald's hiding Ronald and Target pulling costumes?

This was also spotted last week.

[head desk]

Although at least the clown is recognizable. What about this thing?

It was out last week, so... Dapper Halloween Alien? Count Unibrow? Evil Mystic Muppet?

Oooh, "Evil Mystic Muppet" would be an awesome band name.

Thanks to Aryn W., Elizabeth C., Robbie C., Anony M., Julie R., Alexa M., & Jenny E for reminding us it's just two more months 'til Christmas.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.