Cupcake Day's Race To The Bot

(Mildly NSFW stuff ahead. Beware!)

After you see enough cake wrecks, you can start to get the impression that individual cupcakes are a safe bet.

OH CONTRAIRE MONTRAIRE.

(I think some of those might be words. WHAT.)

Behold!

The ghosts of cupcakes past! And a random pile of poo!

And behold!

The song "Run, Run, Rudolph" just got real, y'all.

Keep beholding!

I don't know what these are, but, ew.

And I DO know what these are:

...but, ew.

(Think they're cigarette flavored? [hurk!])

But all of that pales in comparison to the cupcakes that turn every frown completely around - so it's still a frown:

The cupcakes that make accidental nipples seem downright family friendly:

The cupcakes, my friends... that I hear taste like a$$:

o.0

[crickets]
This brings to mind a song, dear minions. May I?

All together, now!

Thanks to Alice S., Bethany P., Matthew S., Sarah R., Heather W., Chris H., & Eric W. for helping us get to the bottom of all cupcake wreckage.

Jen's Head Case (Now With Monkeys!)

I will now illustrate the first 7 stages of getting a sinus infection... using monkey cakes.

Like ya do.

Stage 1) Hey, my head kind of hurts - but I'm sure everything's fiiiiiine.

Watch me do some improbable leg stretches!

Stage 2) Wow, this headache is getting particularly stabby.

...much like this banana.

Stage 3) I never knew eyebrows could scream.

Stage 4) I can't hear you. Are there cupcakes stuffed in my ears? It feels like there are cupcakes stuffed in my ears. Giant ones. With glass shard sprinkles.

I'll just smile and nod when people talk from now on.

Stage 5) MY HEAD IS FILLED WITH CONCRETE AND EVERYTHING HURTS DON'T TALK TO ME DON'T LOOK AT ME JUST BRING ME MORE HOT TEA ARRRRGNNNGGGRAAAAAAAR!

Stage 6)

[sound of a menthol vaporizer chugging steam while Star Trek reruns play in the background]

[.....]

Drooly, a vacant stare, & heavily medicated.

Yep, looks about right.

Thanks to Anony M., Donna L., Sue S., Ellen M., Alison S., & Angela J. I'll tell ya what stage 7 is once I get there, guys.

*****

P.S. Need a funny Secret Santa gift? Then LOOK NO FURTHER:

Anti Monkey Butt Powder

I can't believe no one has hired me to be their personal shopper yet.