IT HAS BEEN FORETOLD

I feel like bakers are trying to tell us something, you guys.

I'm just not sure WHAT.

Speak to me, Deadpan Penguin! What is it? What's wrong?

Is a festive volcano about to blow?

Are alien body-snatchers among us?

Adult acne? More than some of us may hypothetically already have?

Maybe I'm reading too much into this next one, but I think it's saying:

"YOU'RE IN TROUBLE."
(That's our #1 problem!)

Or maybe bakers are just messing with us. Maybe NOTHING's wrong, and they think we're a bunch of nincompoops.

Or maybe
IT'S RIGHT BEHIND YOU!!

But probably not.

Well, whatever bakers are trying to tell us this season...

May yours be volcano, body-snatchers, and acne free.

Thanks to Jason & Amy, Tovah, Julia S., Aaron R., Lauren W., Anony M., Dezy, Natasha C., Fran V., Jennifer C., & Marsha W. for the goodwill to wise guys.

*****

P.S. Oh hey, if you enjoy looking for meaning in garbled messages - or that pleasant sensation of having your face stretched at the dentist - then this is the game for you:

Watch Ya' Mouth Ultimate Edition Game

This game legit comes with a retainer that stretches your lips out while your try to read tongue twisters. If you've ever seen the video of Tiffany Jenkins & her sister playing this, then you know it gets super hysterical super fast. And hey, we need all the entertaining diversions we can get right now, right?

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Christmas Creep-Off

It's a Christmas Creep-Off!

Hit us with your best shots, bakers!

Oooh, now that's creepy.

But this is creepier. [shudder]

AAAAAUUGHH!

I mean, er, points for finding a way to make a candy cane look like it's made from someone's collection of skin suits, bakers. That's... that's really something. [backs away slowly]

Hey, ever wonder what Richard Kind would look like with shaved eyebrows?

(This is Richard Kind.)

BEHOLD!

Yep, nailed it. So why am I terrified? How DO you do it, bakers?

Hey, ever had a reeeeally bad sunburn?

And then wanted to eat it?

Then this Christmas, YOU ARE IN LUCK.

0.o

K, I'm calling it: that's definitely the creepiest.

Thanks to Danica G., Patrick M., Robyn B., Sheri P., & Lindsay L. for the Christmas face-off. (Ew.)

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: