By The Book

So what really happens when you order a cake from the bakery's big book o' plastic kit designs? 

LET'S FIND OUT.

Amanda D. ordered this Cars design, which was not only in the bakery's book, but also on a giant banner behind the counter:

Even so, Amanda made sure to ask if her cake would look exactly like this one, and was assured it would.

Which was, well, half right:

I was about to point out how nice those yellow lines on the bottom are, but then I realized they're just another piece of plastic. So never mind.

Oh, but for the full effect you really need the side view:

You can almost see the cake tipping over in slow motion.

Jessica W. ordered this design:

I still think sticking stuffed animals on a cake is kind of questionable, but hey, who am I to judge?

Especially when the end result comes out looking this good!

As you can see, it's exactly the same... toy.

For this next one I'm going to show you the cake first, just so you can experience the same bewildering confusion I did until I looked up the original e-mail to figure out just what the heck it's supposed to be:

Any guesses? 

No? 

Aw, c'mon. Look reeeeally hard!

It could be there's MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE. Eh?

Ok, ok, here's the design:

Yeeeeah. I'm pretty sure the toys aren't going to help much this time, Bronwyn.

Sam's baby shower was jungle themed, so she asked for this Dora design with some "jungle animals" on it instead of the toys:

Aaaand this is what she got:

John actually wanted me to pull this one because it's "exactly what she asked for." (Don't worry; I'm checking his temperature as we speak.) Still, I decided to leave it in as a valuable lesson in advertisement vs reality. And also so I can get some support here: This is fugly as all get-out, right? It's not just me?

And finally, my favorite of them all:

Wyatt ordered this Star Wars design, but I guess the bakery ran out of the toys? Maybe? Wyatt doesn't say, but I'm guessing that's what happened, anyway.

So, are you ready for this?

Aw, what am I saying? You'll never be ready for this.

 Sha-pow!

THAT'S NO DEATH STAR.

Thanks to all of today's wreckporters for the reminder that not just brides-to-be have to be afraid: WE ALL DO.

******

I got distracted looking up all the different kinds of Pillow Pets out there, and then I found the clear winner:

Pillow Pets Triceratops

A teal and orange dino!!

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Baffling Star Wars Cakes The Demand Answers

Today is Revenge of the 5th, young padawans, so this is the perfect time to ask something about Star Wars that's been bugging me for YEARS.

::dramatic pause::

What the heck is up with this cake design?

It's supposed to look like that. I checked.

As you can see, it's a weirdly patriotic, abstract, head-floaty situation.

The dot pattern shifts around almost as much as the official explanation for midi-chlorians.

"No, really, they were there all along, Luke." #DealWithIt

And why the candy cane stripes? Why these colors? WHY DARTH VADER'S HEAD? What does it all meeeean?

Granted, Strangers Things have happened.

Heyoooo.

Darth Demogorgon: The Empire Turned Upside Down.

While we're talking here, maybe one of you can tell me what these are:

All I see are fish. I'm so confused.

Which brings me to the ULTIMATE baffling Star Wars design. This thing's got it all: Abstract explosions. A kiddy pool. Darth attacking bird droppings. And of course, more dots.

[whispering] It's a Masterpiece of Mystery.

So in conclusion, minions:

And thanks to M.L., Anne, Autumn A., Ruthie G., Anony M., Hilary G., & Brent K. for reminding us to use the forks. Otherwise icing gets everywhere.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: