The Long And Short Of It

[WARNING: It's been far too long since I told you to hide the kids, right? Well, today's the day, peeps. No kids or bosses beyond this point, unless you enjoy awkward conversations. :D]

You know those commercials where you can't figure out what they're trying to sell? Like, okay, there's a woman playing cello in a tree fort - is that a perfume, a drug, a new protein bar, what?

I love those.

Here, lemme try one on you guys - buzz in when you guess it.

[Somber Narrator Voice] Life.

Life can get you down.

The never-ending rat race...

Pressures at home...

Sometimes it feels like you'll just never stack up.

UNTIL NOW.

Because now there's Sure Nova!

[peppy music starts up]

Sure Nova will restore your confidence.

Sure Nova makes you stand tall!

Whether you're hard at work:

Or clowning around with the boys:

Sure Nova can give you the life you've always wanted.

Don't wait.

Go for the sure thing.

Go for Sure Nova.

Small Print announcer voice: "Sure Nova may cause hair loss, weight gain, and excessively itchy toes. Do not use Sure Nova while driving, swimming, or lactating. Sure Nova is not responsible for your unrequited love triangles. Do not taunt Sure Nova. Improper use of Sure Nova may result in hysteria, mega Youtube hits, and a tie-dyed Fraggle penis.

"Which isn't our fault, either."

"SURE NOVA: Live life, grab life, make life."

Thanks to Robun B., Leigh E., Tharr, Anony M., Amber C., Jodee R., Megan, Dennis K., Erin, Alison, & K.R. for the first intentional wang cake to make me question whether or not it's actually supposed to be a wang. I mean, that could be a fuzzy gavel. Or yarn pom-poms on a tiny thigh-high boot. Or a giant clown nose. All things to keep in mind when your boss asks why there's coffee all over your keyboard. [evil grin]

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Something about this post made me think you'd like these. Best not to examine that thought process too closely, heh.

Light Up Lightsaber Chopsticks
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And from my other blog, Epbot:

The Ballad Of Sam Patrick

Ahh, St. Paddy's day. A day of rainbows:

A day of trash cans(?) filled with popcorn(??):

And, of course, a day of traditional Irish padlocks:

Which is where "St. Paddy's" comes from, of course.

Make sure you never call it St. Patty's, though, lest you incur the wrath of both internet commenters and fancy eyebrowed shamrocks:

SO FANCY.

Besides, we all know you're supposed to call it "Sam Patrick's Day."

Good guy, that Sam Patrick.

Though I hear his pick-up lines were terrible.

(To be fair, that "I'am" WOULD get you hissed.)

Well, happy Sam Patrick's day, everyone!

Oh, and don't forget to pick up your loaf of green snake bread on the way out:

It's what Sam would've wanted.

Thanks to Casey G., Tara G., Melissa S., Crista C., Gabriela N., Samantha G., & Erin R., who can't BELIEVE I didn't make a hissing snake joke there at the end. Sorry, guys.

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P.S. Any of you need new swim trunks? Because I think these would make Sam proud:

Idea Zone Men's Swim Trunks

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And from my other blog, Epbot: