Rockin' Shams

Every holiday I'm forced to wonder: must we anthropomorphize everything?

The answer of course is yes - yes we must. Thanks for clearing that up, Becky F.

Not only is this next incredibly hulking blob supposed to be a shamrock, it's also got quite an infestation going on:

[sucking air through teeth] Hoo boy! Christy M., I'm not gonna lie to you: this is bad. Bad bad bad.

[hitching britches up] Now, what we've gotta do here is get them there lil' buggers out before they start "compromising" your "substructure", you follow? 'Cuz once THAT happens, well.. [shaking head mournfully] Let's just say it's "bye bye birdie". Now, fortunately for you, I just so happen to have a special runnin' this week... [hurrying out to fetch calculator from Hummer]

Aaand the "Worst Attempt at a Shamrock" goes to... [opening envelope]

Alison H.'s "Alien Arms Squashing Lice"!!

[announcer voice] "This is Alison H.'s first win in the Sham category. Her previous nominations include 'Dog Paws on Poo', 'Head's Up! It's Edible!' and the critically acclaimed 'Santa's Sticky Surprise'."

Wow, these St. Patrick's Day cakes are driving me a bit buggy. How 'bout you guys?