Jane Austen's Baby Shower Chronicles
"Thank you all so much for joining me on this joyful occasion, as we celebrate the impending birth of my first child. It gives me such pleasure to see your smiling faces on this wondrous, happy day. Indeed, I am all amazement!
"I understand that you all mistook the "BYOC" on your invitations to mean 'Bring Your Own Cake.' [giggle] No matter, though! If we have no chairs, then we'll simply stand!
"Now, pray, show me these glorious confections you've brought for our afternoon respite! Eleanor, dear, you first.
"Lydia, what deliciousness have you prepared?
[blushing] "Good heavens! I...I thank you, for your kindness, Lydia. Truly. I'll just...put your cake over here. Out of the sun. Under this bonnet.
"Elizabeth, darling! What kindness have you done me, in preparing such a large platter?
"AAAEEEII!! [faints][coming to] "Oh, do forgive that unpardonable display of emotion, Elizabeth. I was simply overcome with unimaginable...that is to say, I...it's just that...
"Oh, c'mon, Liz. Really? I mean, really?
"Ahem. Do excuse me, please. I believe the heat must be addling my senses.
"Now, Lord Harrington, I understand that you have also prepared a dessert! I am honored beyond words that you would bestow such a kindness...
[crickets chirping]"Are you frickin' kidding me?!?
"Catherine, do I even want to know what monstrosity you've brought to ruin my party?
"Oh... [blinking]"It's actually quite nice.
[flourishing serving knife] "Cake, anyone?"
