When Irish Guys Are Dialing

Today, on behalf of Ireland, the Irish, and people who like Guinness, allow me to say:

Sam is gonna be thrilled, I just know it.

So will Pabrick.

And wait'll he hears about his promotion!

I'm not sure if I should salute or cross myself.

Now, there's a stereotype floating around that we Irish like to drink.

I don't know where this comes from.

And frankly, if I were able to see straight or type this without developing motion sickness, I'd be extremely offended. [hic]

Hey, look! A green golf bag! How appropriate!

[head tilt]

Wait, no. That's Scotland. Sorry. I always get Craig Ferguson and Colin Farrell mixed up.

There's also a common misconception that we Irish have nasty tempers. I don't know who started this rumor, but if I ever find out I WILL CUT OFF THEIR BANGERS AND MASH AND FEED THEM TO THE LOCH NESS MONSTER.

[blinking]

That's Scotland again, isn't it?

DANG IT!!

So, in conclusion, this is a terrible four-leaf clover:

That, or this Guinness is making me see triple.

Oh, and also: Be careful when doling out kissing commands today. There's a big difference between telling an attractive stranger, "Kiss me, I'm Irish" and telling just anyone Irish to kiss you:

Don't believe me? Well, consider this: all of these guys are Irish:

"Aye, yore a pritty one, ar'ntcha?"

"Heh aheh hehehe."

"Forget those lucky charms, lass, I've got yore pot o' gold right here!"

Yep, we Irish can be a bit creepy. It's part of our charm.

Rock on, Colin. Rock. On.

Thanks to Stacey T., Liz C., Jodee R., Cristina, Claire P., Emily C., Jen F., Rebecca M., Leslie C., Jenaro P., & Heather H., who are all honorary Irishmen today. So wear those red beards with pride, ladies.