Pumpkin Eaters

Remember, kids, cheaters never prosper.

Unless they work at a bakery.

Cheater.

See, the way bakeries see it, replacing a talented baker with giant bits of plastic flotsam a trained monkey could use is good for the bottom line.

Well, until the trained monkey forgets which one is the "bottom:"

I weep for our future.

Still, imagine how crappy this cake would look without the plastic:

Haha! Just kidding.

You really don't have to imagine it.

("Whoo? Whooo poooped?")

Yessir, decorating with icing is just plain overrated. Giant rubber bands, on the other hand, were on sale yesterday:

(What, no snappy comeback?)

(HEYO!)

The most cost-effective bakeries know that technically this qualifies as a "Nascar cake."

So fork over your $34.99 and deal, lady.

Also cost-effective? Shaking out the empty Oreo trays and calling it "garnish:"

Not to mention the broken "snow" plaque and single squirt of green icing are truly inspiring, in a post-modern, pre-vomit kind of way.

Although, really, who needs writing or Oreo dust or even colored icing when you've got lots and LOTS of choking hazards?

Go on, pull the other one.

(I'm currently having flashbacks to the midnight vet run when my cat had a pull string - if you catch my drift. And for some reason that's just not making me hungry.)

Still, don't let 'em get you down, cake consumers! Just put on a happy face, and...er...

Oh, never mind. We're doomed.

Thanks to Steven S., Sara S., M.K., Linda T., Shawn T., Ami S., Elyse M., & Gopi F. for reminding us that, no matter how ugly these are, at least they haven't been peed on.