Jen Takes a Chill Pill
Heeeeeey guuuuuys. Jen here. Now, I might have had to take an itty bitty tiny dose of Xanax earlier today, and I might be feeling a liiiiittle bit relaxed right now.
Me [looking at the "to-post" wrecks]: "Meh. These cakes aren't so bad. I'mma go pet the cat."
John: "Oh, you want bad cakes? I'LL FIND YOU BAD CAKES."
[fifteen minute pause while I smile dreamily at the wall]
John: "Ok, here we go. How about ... THIS."
Me: "It's the head-shrinky guy from Beetlejuice. Nice. I'mma go pet the cat."
John: "HANG ON. I've got better ones. Here, look at this:"
[long, considering silence]
Me: "Ew."
John: "... and?"
Me: "And what?"
John: "All you've got is 'ew'? How about a 'til death makes us parts' joke, or, or, something about eye balling the problem? C'mon! Work with me, here!"
Me: [snoring]
John: "Jen. Jen. Jen."
[enlarging another photo and angling screen in my direction] "JEN!"
Me: "AAAAIIIEEEE!! I'm awake! IMMAWAKE!"
John: "... and?"
Me: "And I think I need another Xanax."
Thanks to Suzanne G., Sarah S., Anony M., Jude S., and artist Katie Cook, who has just the surprise I need for John later, OH YES.