Dog Days of Summer

Hi Guys! Chuck the Corgi here.

Since I've got you, can I ask you a question? Because there's something about you internet people I find really...

...perplexing.

 

Why do you like cats so much?

Cheezeburger cats and Nyan cats and Ninja kittens and cats too dumb to know if they'll fit in a box.

Why?! What's with the irrational feline obsession?

 

Seriously, folks, those kittens aren't actually ninjas. So why not watch a superhero dog instead?

Spider-Dog. Spider-Dog.
Does whatever a Spider-Dog does...

 

I'll bet that crazy chick who wants to hug all the cats would change her mind if she had a chance to smooch ol' Collie-Jen here.

Hey, YOU try to say "L" when your lips are that big.

 

Honestly, who needs Grumpy Cat when you can have Petrified Pug?

"The Doctor said not to blink. The Doctor said not to blink."

 

Look, I'm the first to admit kittens chasing a red laser dot are adorable, but Scarlet here is the red dot.

"Catch me if you can, ya furry little hairballs!"

 

Sure, I'll grant you Chococat is cute, but who wants furry chocolate?

Blech!

Ex Lax Dog, on the other hand, packs a much bigger punch:

"Should I 'stay' or should I 'go' now?"

 

So the next time you have the urge to play someone off with Keyboard Cat, why not choose this little fella instead?

[[silence]]
[[unblinking stare]]

 

I guarantee there won't be any encores, let alone nine lives.

 

Thanks to Cortney G., Lund, Jessica R., Annie H., Texascutie, Erin R., and Terri R., for trading in 9 lives for canines. And, Theardare, sweetie, it's just a post -- really, I'm a cat person.