This Wedding Cake Is So Bad It's Freaking Adorable

[running in] YOU GUYS.

I just found my new favorite wedding wreck.

It's... LOOKING... at me.

And once you see the face, that's all you'll see. The little puffball bowtie! The grumpy frown! The parade of heart butts on the bottom! It's... [wiping eyes]... It's just so beautiful.

Now I want Mr. Frumpy Puffball Butts to star in his own superhero comic. I want him to host a reality show where he crashes wedding receptions and critiques the hors d'oeuvres in a snooty British accent. I want a tag-team podcast with the Sorting Hat where they discuss current affairs. I want action figures, fuzzy pillows, coffee mugs!!

No no, wait, I've got it:

MR. FRUMPY PUFFBALL BUTTS FOR PRESIDENT.

YASSSSSS.

[pause followed by hushed whispers]

Er, OK, John says I need to go have a little lie-down now, but I'm telling you guys, I think I'm on to something here. Go ahead and share your best candidate slogan for Frumpy Puffball Butts in the comments, while I brainstorm lawn signs.

And thanks to Shannon C. for finding a campaign we can really sink our teeth into.

*****

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