Ode To Honest Wreckers

We've all seen it.

So.

Many.

Times.

Bakers with delusions of competency.

Yes, these professionals lure in clients with pretty pictures and promises, only to shatter their pastry pipe dreams with poor planning and pathetic, um... skills.

That's why I'd like to thank all the bakers out there who proudly let their wreck flags fly, showing us exactly what to expect when we order from them.

In fact, I wrote you a poem, honest bakers.

[ahem hem hem]

Thank you for your honesty
In building your display

Your heap of melty sugar 
Should scare us all away

And thanks for making it easy 
To choose another store

Not that I don't appreciate 
Some good ol' fashioned gore

Thanks for guiding blushing brides 
With wisdom past their years:

That any wedding cake from you 
Will only end in tears.

And thanks for being straightforward, 
I expected nothing less.

You put it all right out there 
With your drippy race car mess.

Thanks to you for having 
the courage to admit

That when you try to decorate
It's going to look like... really, really bad.

Thanks to Lesley B., Laura S., Anony M., Tiffany M., Martha C., & Jenna M. for dropping a load of truth on us.

*****

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And from my other blog, Epbot: