Mess With The Cake, Get The Claws

They say Big Brother is watching, but really, who needs covert surveillance when we've got bakers writing down our every word?

Baker: "I'm sorry, could you speak up? I lost you after [consulting notes] 'knuckleheaded baker with the reading comprehension of a coked-up ferret.'"

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Jack wanted a volcano on his cake, because - and I cannot stress this enough - Jack is seven.

Somebody get this kid a Metamucil, stat.

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And finally, this last one is going to separate the women from the other women who know more pastry names than the first women.

Ready?

Mercer University's mascot is a bear, so Coleen asked her bakery to put a bear claw on her MU cake.

Which, technically, they did:

If you're like me and wondering what the heck that powdered sugar spine is, that's a pastry called a Bear Claw.

See? Now it makes sense!

Thanks to Rob M., Paige E., & Coleen B. for the dramatic paws.

And hey, if you have a thing for bear claws - which is a sentence I never envisioned myself typing back in college, but I'm sure my English professor would be proud of - I found some insanely popular telescoping bear claw back scratchers over on Amazon:

Why? I have no idea. But you get 5 for $8, so I'm guessing that has something to do with all the rave reviews. And really, as often as John requests a good back scratch, maybe I should grab him a set?

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And from my other blog, Epbot: