Say What?

I know they keep pushing back the retirement age, but this is ridiculous:

Worst. Retirement package. Ever.

Clearly this "celabrate" you speak of refers to an activity with which I am unfamiliar.

Ever notice what a difference an "e" can make?

Ouch.

Or the lack of proper spacing?

Woohoo! Uric acid-induced arthritis! Yeah!

At first glance I thought this next cake said "gobbles," which you must admit would have been perfect on an edible baby cake.

Of course, if you say it fast enough this actually almost sounds right.

And, poof!
Just like that, I got you all to say the word "Gobbless" under your breath.

BOW BEFORE YOUR PUPPET MASTER!

Bwah-ha-haa-haaa!!!

Ahem.

And finally, a reminder of the importance of commas:

"The first 102rd moms were just so-so, but number 103th? BINGO."

Thanks to Bethany V., Clare P., Jason T., Angela L., Erin L., & Rachel M., and whoever first put an "rd" superscript over a number two. (Seriously, just try to pronounce "2rd" without giggling. Go on.)

*****

P.S. In case this post wasn't painful enough:

Exceptionally Bad Dad Jokes

There are a lot of "dad joke" books out there, but this one has awesome ratings AND the word "spiffing" on the cover, so it's a clear winner.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: