Birch, Please.

Me: AAAUUGH! BWAHAHAAA!

John: What? [seeing cake] What IS that?

Me: [laughing]

John: Is it a cow? Buried face down?

Me: [still laughing]

John: Wait, no, I think it's a tree. A birch tree.

Me: [shrill cackling punctuated by honking, bugle-like snorts]

John: Is there a two-liter in that thing? Seriously, look; I think there's a soda bottle in there! Jen?

Me: [wiping eyes] Oh, so you're saying it's all bark and no bite?

John: Ug, that's terrible. We need some good puns.

Me: Hey, if you don't like my puns, you can make like a tree, and GET OUT OF HERE.

John: That's it. No more Back to the Future marathons for you.

Me: Awww. You are my density, baby.

Thanks to Amanda C. for proving there's nothing shady at all about a tree stump with two limbs.

*****

P.S. I can't help it, unintentionally creepy things make me laugh. Which means I find this hee-larious:

Tree Face Bird Feeder

It has great reviews and everyone keeps calling it "cute," but it definitely rides the "may come to life later and murder you" vibe. Which of course makes me love it even more. :p

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: