Our Hour of Discontent
Well, folks, it's Monday. And as if that weren't bad enough, we were all robbed - ROBBED, I say - of one entire hour over the weekend. A whole hour! It should be one hour earlier than it is right now, but it's not! Who signed off on this?! What evil mastermind convinced the US government that a nation of grumpy sleep-deprived workers was a *good* thing?
Do you know what I could have done with that extra hour today? DO YOU?
Well, neither do I, but this blog being what it is, we both know it's going to have something to do with cake.
THINGS I COULD DO WITH THE HOUR SO SHAMELESSLY STOLEN
FROM ME:
- Buy enough goldfish to refill this wedding cake:
(Ok, picture this: Finding Nemo, except instead of a dentist's office the gang all live in a bakery's wedding cake display. I CALLED IT FIRST, DISNEY.)
- Write at least 6 or 8 puns on how these cookies look like the Sorting Hat made out of poop:
"HUFFLEPOOP!"
- Write a compelling argument for why a cupcake decorated with another cupcake impaled on top of the first cupcake with a straw through them both is basically the Inception of cupcakes.
If the yellow candle falls over we'll know this isn't real.
- Photoshop the perfect couple's portrait:
Unnng, you're liking that shoulder, aren't you, Robert Pattinson? Yeeeah. C'mon, let's go sit in the back row of that school bus and stare moodily at each other.
- Find out who is manufacturing cake flotsam in the form of tiny digital projectors:
...Mostly so I can find the person responsible and shake his or her hand. And maybe order a few dozen for my next Jem and the Holograms party.
- Plan a Jem and the Holograms Party.
Poor Stormer.
The best thing about this Jem cake is that it gives me an excuse to link to this one. GOOD TIMES.
And finally, if I had my stolen hour back I could ...
- Stack all of these "wedding donuts":
... before explaining to the bride that ideas like THIS are why we as a nation can't have nice things.
Thanks to Janice W., Monica C., Katie S., Faith, Danielle B., Tiffanee D., & Rachel K., who know I'd really just spend my extra hour sleeping. AS GOD INTENDED.
*****
Speaking of sleep, let me again sing the praises of my amazing sleep headphones:
I have the kind of insomnia old-timey bards would write songs about, so I listen to boring audio books on these every night to keep my brain from spinning out of control. Lately I've been wearing them like a sleep mask - like the model here - and WOW, that's helped even more than when I wore them like a headband! These things have been a life saver: comfy enough for side sleeping, not too loud like some of my old speakers, and they only cost $20 Prime.
Note that they do run on the big side, but that works out great if you have a big head like me. :D
*****
And from my other blog, Epbot:
