John Yates

Adowable Widdle Wrecks

Sometimes I see cakes that are so undeniably Wrecky that I'm almost ashamed of myself for thinking they're cute. I'm not sure how such a thing is possible, either - are they flukes? Slips of the piping bags? The inevitable result of a million Wreckerators working on a million cupcakes? The world may never know. Or care.

Who's a cute widdle turd!?

Sure, it may look like a pile of poo on the banks of the Jungle Cruise*, but it's actually supposed to be a cat. Or maybe a lion. With a monkey tail. Regardless, see how the decorator compels us to overlook its blatant turdiness with his/her skillful application of puppy...cat eyes?

* Explanation for Non-Disney Geeks - See, the water on the Jungle Cruise ride at Disney is often dyed a shocking shade of blue-green. I think you have to be decontaminated if you fall in.**

**Follow-up from Jen: Puh-lease, "decontaminated"? It's just a little tetanus shot.

 

This next one makes use of the "two-cupcakes-drowning-in-icing-on-an-oversized-cakeboard" approach:

See? It's a cow. Or maybe ground beef. ("What do you call a cow with no legs, Alex?") Or Beef Stroganoff. ("A cow with noodles for legs?")

How can I tell it's a cow, and not a spotted dog with an awesome bouffant 'do sitting on a robot*? By reading the "moo" in the barren desert of cake board, that's how. [tapping temple] Skills. I gots 'em.

*Picture the nostrils as eyes for a minute - you'll see it. (Note: alcohol helps.)

 

Here's another one, fortified with rich, healthy irony:

An embarrassed skunk letting out a little toot, or a Wreckerator letting out a little workplace aggression? More importantly: which makes you hungrier?

 

Next is a real fluke; it's both the Wreckiest and the cutest cake for today:

A Wreckerator sets out to make a frog and ends up with a sloppy cross-eyed face with jowls, and yet it's still adorable? Now that's luck. (Dig the candle horns.)

 

And finally, we have the origin of the term “duck lips.”

Better take a selfie before the swelling goes down.

 

Thanks to Wreckporters Tim, Megan, Kristi M., Leigh S., and Linden S.!

*****

P.S. Here's a (hilarious) reminder that English is almost as confusing as these cakes:

P Is for Pterodactyl: The Worst Alphabet Book Ever

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

The Dora Dilemma

"Hi, I'd like to order this Dora cake, please."

vickief.ow.doratheexplorerinspiration.jpg

"No problem!"

[a few minutes later]

"Here you go: one Dora cake!"

vickief.ow.doratheexplorerresult.jpg

"Um, that's not really the same... and where are the toys?"

"What toys?"

"The toys that come with the Dora cake!"

"Oh, THOSE toys. Haha! I thought you were making a pun. I don't have those toys."

"Well, which toys do you have?"

"Er...Let's see...I have the ones for this cake:"

ashleyh.ow.dorainspiration.jpg

"Ok, that's fine. Just make me one of those, then."

"Okey dokey!"

 

[later]

"Here you go! As you can see, I included the toys!"

ashleyh.ow.doraresult.jpg

"But, that looks nothing like the picture! Look, I don't mean to complain, but all these delays are really putting me behind schedule, and the party is in an hour, and I have so much to do, and I just can't seem to get ahead!" [sob]

 

"Say no more, my good man! I will take care of everything.

***

"Here we go! See? I told you I'd take care of it!"

"Why? What's in the box?"

bryonb.ow.dora27shead.jpg

****

[sniffle] "Fine. I'll take it."

 

Thanks to Vickie F., Ashley H., & Bryon B. for helping us finally get a head.

*****

P.S. I don't usually buy seasonal t-shirts, but as the owner of a black cat and someone frequently frustrated by people, I can tell you this one's appropriate year-round:

Cat's Got Your Knife T-Shirt

:D

Lots more colors at the link.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: