Good Luck Wrecking The Castle!

Joanna H. ordered this cake for her 30th birthday:

The horse shoe is for luck.

BECAUSE SHE'S GONNA NEED IT, AMIRITE?

Ahem.

Here's what Joanna got instead:

Insert "the trots" joke here. BAHAA TOILET HUMOR.

Whitney M. wanted a cake that looked like Neuschwanstein castle for her husband's 30th birthday.

Here's a picture of the castle for reference:

Ha! Come on, now, you'd have to pay someone at least four hundred bucks for a cake like tha...

"I paid $400 for this cake," Whitney writes, "plus $100 for delivery!!!!!!"

Oh. Well, ok, then. Um...

Bummer.

And finally, here's the cake Terrisa K. ordered for her wedding:

So, ya know, that's gonna end well.

She writes: "I didn't see the cake until I was actually walking down the aisle, whispering to my dad, 'is that my f***ing cake?!'"

Yes, Terrisa. Yes, it is.

Thanks to Joanna H., Whitney M., & Terrisa K. for showing us what's black and white and wrecked all over.

*****

P.S. I see you appreciate toilet humor. Might I recommend...?

I Could Pee On This, And Other Poems By Cats

This hardcover gift book costs a mere $8 and will have your friends feline fine.

It's TOO DARN HOT

If you're not one of the people complaining about the heat right now, then you're one of the people complaining about the people complaining about the heat.

Either way, we all have the same problem:

Bad bikini cakes.

Yep, this heat wave has clearly addled bakers' brains, my friends, and the results simply aren't pretty.

Unless maybe you're looking for two trees in a Seuss-ian landscape.

Er...

[head tilt]

Naaaah.

Whoah. It's like I can't even see the disembodied torso!

[singing] The hills are ALIIIIVE...

With butterfly CENsor dots!

No, wait. I have a better song.

(Ahem hem hem.)

From the MOUNT-ains,

To the VAL-leys,

To the OH-shoot!

Is that a THOOOOONG?

GOOOOOD bless America!

My...

Oooohhh soooo wroooong!

Thanks to Heather R., Melissa D., Heather H., Ellen G., & Ginny, who will never look at a heart cookie the same way again.

*****

Speaking of hot, Jen got me one of these neck fans and it’s an absolute must have for this summer heat:

Portable Neck Fan