Tatas For Now

It's October, my friends, and you know what THAT means:

Time to increase breast awareness!!

Of course, I'd have thought most of us - at least among humans - were already pretty dang aware of breasts, but, hey. [shrug]

And since according to this cake being "breast aware" means looking at scantily-clad boobages... LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, START YOUR INTERNET BROWSERS. (Unless you're under 18, in which case, get off my lawn. And stop looking at boobs. You'll go blind.)

I've also heard we're supposed to be aware of breast cancer this month, which is a serious issue demanding our respect, sensitivity, and as many crappily iced pink ribbons as the bakery display case can hold:

You might wonder what a giant cupcake covered in big plastic beads has to do with breast cancer awareness:

... but if you look closely, you'll see there are actually pink ribbon sprinkles mixed in with the giant growth-like clusters of beads.

And I don't know about you, but I feel SO MUCH MORE AWARE.

Because, bottom line, my friends, this is about hope:

[jazz hands] HOPE!

And mammaries:

[leg kicks] MAMMARIES!

And reminding everyone to get regular check-ups through cringe-inducing-edible puns:

(made by Wendy Thomas)

[sliding to front of stage on knees inside giant spotlight][with jazz hands][and a confetti canon]
Cringe-inducing-edible-PUUUUNS!!

Seriously, though, those are kind of genius.

But I still don't want one.

Thanks to Jenny J., Angela G., Eddyth W., K.G., Heather M., Marie P., Abby T., & Michelle, who bet the Mammo-Grahams were a SMASHING success.

Note: Here are the answers to your inevitable questions:
You: Did you really just censor out the nipples on the first cake?
Me:Yes. Yes we did.
You: Didn't you just show us full-on nekkid lady bits on Friday's post?
Me: Yes. Yes we did.
You: But isn't that...
Me: Yes.
You: Aren't you...
Me: Yes.
You: I don't...
Me: Neither do I. Glad I could clear that up! -john (thoJ)

Bibbidy Bobbidy Ew

I think we're all still recovering from Friday's hoo-haw horrors, so let's do something a little different today. Let's take a look at what Anwen E. spotted in the Halloween aisle:

It's kind of like the plastic princess topper they use for cakes, except it has a big fabric skirt... that you cover your pumpkin with.

That's right, you're supposed to buy a pumpkin... and then cover it up with this.

Sadly the skirt isn't long enough to completely hide that pumpkin eyesore, but apparently it's still sufficient to "turn any pumpkin into one of your favorite characters!"

So I'm holding out for Pete Venkman.

But wait, there's more!

After I finished rant-asking John who would possibly want to buy such a thing, much less use it, I returned to my inbox to discover this vintage photo from Toni H. of her fourth birthday cake:

Er...

Toni, you didn't by any chance go into Halloween product design after this, did you?

Still, it's important we remember there are always far worse things you can put on a pumpkin. Or a cake. Or even a pumpkin cake:

Thanks to Anwen E., Toni H., Michelle D., Loren B., & Shon, who will all turn into adorable woodland creatures after the clock strikes twelve tonight, and then come clean my house. (That's how this works, right?)