Tanks For The Memories

Over the weekend John tried to "fix" my latest bout of insomnia by dragging me out to a Flea Market after I'd had about 2 hours' sleep. I assume there was a reasoning behind this, something to do with sunshine, or walking around, or the fact that - ah, yes - there was a World War 2 re-enactment happening in the field next door.

It looked kind of like this, only somehow less sweaty.

So there I was, staggering through aisles of dusty antiques, car stereos, and questionable bulk candy (c'mon, how old ARE those dried papaya slices, really?), when all of a sudden the ground is shaking with mortar fire and explosions.

I never knew tanks had old-timey Cadillac fenders on them.

Come to think of it, I still don't.

John and I went outside to watch the giant clouds of smoke and running soldiers and whatnot for a bit, and naturally I snapped a few pics and video for the 'gram.

Which... inspired a few questions.

Later, as I attempted to explain to a few bewildered Europeans why we - and by "we" I mean Americans - sometimes drive around in tanks and shoot blanks out of machine guns for 30 minutes on a Saturday, it occurred to me there are probably lots of things we - still mean Americans - do that must seem odd to internationals.

Like our obsession with cupcake cakes (ptooie!):

(This could be the sleep deprivation talking, but is that another tank?)

Or our bizarre tradition of writing "We hope you fail, you're dead to us now" on farewell cakes:

::helpless shrug::

Or - my personal favorite - there's the way we can expertly critique everyone's Töedinlochslingers on The Great British Bake-Off, even though the most complex thing we've ever baked are canned crescent rolls.

Really feeling this one.

Just me?

That's the beauty of cakes wrecks, though, minions; they bring our nations together.

Unlike tanks.

Unless the tanks are cakes, maybe. Oh! Or better yet, wedding cakes. But c'mon, where am I EVER going to find a tank wedding ca... yeah who am I kidding here.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

Tanks to Anony M., Shelley P., Christina H., Felicia R., Heather T., Rebecca K., & Lisa W. for helping me make Google searches for "Töedinlochslingers" go up about 1,000% today.

*****

P.S. Since I owe this post to my insomnia, here's a shout-out to the one thing that's helped me fall asleep the most:

Bluetooth Sleep Headphones

(If you were expecting a photo of John here, how dare you. But also high-five.)

I listen to boring audio books on these sleep phones every night to keep my brain from spinning out of control, which works wonders for my insomnia. These are comfy enough for side sleeping, not too loud like some of my old speakers, and they double as an eye mask. Huge sanity saver, highly recommend!