Halloween Heckling

This season is almost too easy for snarks like me. C'mon, right now this is what passes for cake decorating:

And they say cake art is dead. Pfft.

Bakeries, of course, love it. Every conceivable mistake, no matter HOW bad, can now be made into a Halloween design.

Have a Barbie bride cake that's gone horribly wrong? Noo problem:

Voila! A ghost!

Did your icing bag explode in big globby piles on a cake board? We can work with that.

Just be sure to label it, so folks know what it is. See, now that it SAYS "Evil Witch Hat" you can totally see it, right? Er. Right?

What's that? Your bats don't look like bats? S'ok. We have a giant piece of plastic for that:

And hey, do you have any leftover stock we can make into Halloween designs? You know, like maybe some smiley faces? Oh, good! See, just add some fangs...a little broken English...and...

Ta daa! Now it's a vampire!

I know it's a stretch, Darshani, Bettina G., Shayne H., Kylie K., Lauren, & Rachel J., but don't worry; it's Halloween. People will totally buy it.

*****

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With This Wreck, I Thee Wed

It seems I never fail to underestimate your insatiable desire for wedding wreckage. And sprinkles. You guys always want sprinkles.

Two birds? Meet your stone:

Sha-POW!

Not crumby enough for you? Try this:

Because naked wedding cakes have more Funfetti.

"Ooh, you guys, I've got it! Ok, picture this: we have the happy couple, in their wedding finery, scaling a giant turd. Eh? EH?!"

Bam. Nailed it.

"People, I know we can fit a few more pieces of plastic on here! WE JUST AREN'T TRYING HARD ENOUGH."

"Barb, you fetch the curling ribbon while Sam and I open another bag of aquarium greenery. Move, move, move!"

We all know there's a lot of crying at weddings. Fortunately, this couple decided to put all the used tissues to good use:

You might think it's icing holding all those together, but I'm here to tell you: it's not.

Thanks to Heather B., Sarah L., Brittany P., Lesley W., & Danielle N. for the tear-jerkers.

*****

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