Spaced Out

The Words Get In The Way

My friends, there's an epidemic sweeping our nation's bakeries that I think you should know about: SPATIAL AWARENESS DISORDER.

And believe me, it's SAD.

It starts innocently enough.

First you might notice a few odd gaps in their writing:

chris%2Bs.ow.birthday.jpg

Then they run out of room:

Rebecca%2BM%2B.%2Bow%2B.%2Bmisspell.jpg

Then they decide to just keep going:

marina%2Bc.ow.birthday.jpg

The next thing you know, the bakery's sense of scale is swinging wildly from one extreme to another, ranging from the microscopic:

rachel%2Bp.ow.bridal%2Bshower.jpg

To the titanic:

Cindy%2BE%2B.%2Blw%2B.%2Btext.jpg

"We had to bake three more cakes to fit it all in, but we made it!"

Occasionally a wreckerator might recognize that s/he's made a mistake:

marc.ow.birthday%2Bspacing.jpg

Thereby making it worse.

In its final stages, the SAD affect can get doubly bizarre:

Alison.ow.birthday%2B%2528story%2529.jpg

Bakers lose all sense of gravity, distance, and direction...

trish%2Bmck.ow.sloppy%2Bbday.jpg

...and even more disturbing: appropriate word placement.

lydia%2Bc.ow.birthday%2Bspacing.jpg

To this day, Nanny still can't look the mall Santa in the eye.

Thanks to Chris S., Rebecca M., Marina C., Rachel P., Cindy E., Marc, Trish M., & Alison for finally exposing the third rail of cake decorating.

******

P.S. I don't usually buy seasonal t-shirts, but as the owner of a black cat and someone frequently frustrated by people, I can tell you this one's appropriate year-round:

Cat's Got Your Knife T-Shirt

:D

Lots more colors at the link.

******

And from my other blog, Epbot:

9 Times Strategic Thinking Really Paid Off

As you know, September is International Strategic Thinking Month, so while we hang our Strategic Stockings and hum the Strategery anthem, let's take a quick break for cake... strategically.

 

1: Is your handwriting too big?

pkwstjames.ow.birthdayflowers.jpg

 

2: Too small?

marktil.ow.sloppyretirement.jpg

 

C: Did you start too high?

lorit.ow.bridalshower28story29.jpg

 

D: Or too drunk?

kellymoo.bdayspacing.jpg

 

5: Do you need to break up a word with a dash?

danfea.ow.poograduation.jpg

 

F: Did you put the emPHAsis on the right syLAble?

gabrielle.lw.congrats.jpg

 

VII: Do you know how balloons work?

ErinVes.ow.upsidedownballoons.jpg

 

XVII: Are you feeling dizzy?

94153952.ow.congrats.jpg

 

And if all else fails, remember: with a little strategic thinking you can print your cake design, thereby eliminating the chance of any... uh... oh.

AmandaMcC.ow.spacing.jpg

[side eye]

Perfec!

 

Thanks to Anony M., Mark T., Lori T., Kelly M., Dan F., Gabrielle, Erin V., Anony M. & Amanda M. for planning ahead - but next time we'd prefer a hand.

*****

P.S. Here's a strategic (eh?) way to spend family time with your kids while also throwing things at them:

Throw Throw Burrito: A Dodgeball Card Game

It's by the makers of Exploding Kittens, so you know you'll have some laughs, too.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: