Paper View

Edible paper. Edible paper. EDIBLE PAPER!! Amaze your friends! Astound your coworkers! All you need is...EDIBLE PAPER!!!

(The following message is brought to you by the National Board of Edible Paper and Non-edible Babies.)
Hey there, baker! Lonely sheet cakes got ya down?

[defeated trombone slide]

No worries. Now you can turn this:

"Boo! That's so BORING and PHOTOLESS!"

...Into THIS!

"Wow! Is that paper? That you can EAT??"

Yes, it is! And now your bakery can make literallytrillionsof dollars with a little help from this fabulous product, known as...

EDIBLE PAPER!!!
With Edible Paper (and our conveniently included vehicle clip-art starter pack), you can...

Cut costs!
---What better, more cost effective way is there to celebrate a bride-to-be's journey than with...

...recreational vehicle clip-art?

With a few roses and a stick figure bride, this shower cake is ready to roll!

Save time!
---Why waste precious hours fumbling with piping bags when it takes only a second to hit "Print?"

And it's still just as meaningful.

It's EASY!

---No artistic talent? No problem!! Hearts are difficult to draw, but an edible hearse is just a keystroke away!

Death becomes it!

Yes, with Edible Paper, you are only limited by your Imagination*! 

*Imagination clip-art packs sold separately.

Now, don't put away that "Eternal Rest" photo pack just yet; when a customer asks you to "just make it nice ," it's really your time to shine!

You can rest in peace knowing your customer is happy.

Do you love fried chicken? I mean, LOVE love it? But not so much that you want to eat anything that actually tastes like fried chicken? Then you're in luck!

It's finger lickin' great! 

Edible Paper!

EDIBLE PAPER!

EDIBLE PAPER!!!

Edible Paper. Transforming your baby shower cakes from this...

Into this:

You're welcome.

Thanks to Susan H., Liana E., Nathan S., Dana H., Taryn, Kerry M., Adam D., Wendy M., Mollie B., who think these cakes look pretty tearable.

*****

P.S. You know what's better than edible paper? EDIBLE CHEESE PAPER:

Prank Gift Box: Cheese Printer

No, it's not a real cheese printer (booo), but with these prank gift boxes you can make your friends and family THINK it is. There's also an "ear wax candle kit" and an especially cruel 12,000 piece puzzle box of a solid blue sky. DASTARDLY.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Paper Reams

There are very, VERY few non-wrecky uses for edible photo paper, my friends. So if you're going to make your guests gum their way through all that ink and extra fiber, at least make sure it looks cool. 

You know, (not) like this:

I can just imagine the baker showing these off in his/her portfolio:

  "As you can see, I pioneered the 'wet blanket' decorating technique. I also specialize in printer jams and making your poop sparkle."

 Or this:

Granted, this doesn't look as much like edible paper as it does a thin plastic table cloth. Maybe it comes with a pair of scissors for serving? (Only let's hope the scissors come on the outside this time.)

And I love how they wrapped the (presumably) iced cake in "paper," then added more icing, and then topped it with (more?) plastic. It's like a Dagwood sandwich of choking hazards.

My favorite, though, is what Angela N. got when she ordered Avengers themed cupcakes from a national chain store bakery which I am *this* close to outing, because omigosh are you kidding me:

AVENGERS, ASSEMBLE!

*splat*

Thank you.

Thanks to Andrew C., Jaymie P., and Angela N. for actually making me look forward to the day when print is dead.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: