...But The Words Get In The Way

It's not always easy to express your feelings on Valentine's Day. Fortunately, these Wreckerators are here to help.

A-HAH!
This explains all those "Marry Christmas" cakes!

Happy Valentines + 'Day'

Yep, that's a first.

I'm continually amazed at how many Wreckerators botch the classic "Bee Mine" pun. It's not like it's that hard, guys: if there's a bee on it, write, "Bee Mine." If there's NOT a bee on it, write "Be Mine." That's it! And yet...

(Granted, you'd have a hard time convincing anyone those are bees.)

The fact that this was on clearance makes me oddly proud of the buying public.

Of course, no V-Day is complete until we explore some alternate spellings of "Valentine's":

Still, always remember this, my dear Wreckies: At the end of the day, what matters most to your S.O. is that you tried.

See?

(No, I don't think this vintage Wreck is professionally made, but it was just too cute not to share. I mean, c'mon, who wouldn't love to come home to this? Am I right, ladies?)

JuliAnn J., Linda R., Abby D., Shannon L., Vickie M., Maria P., Eunice S., & Carrie M., I tried to say "I love you"... but then I realized that was wildly inappropriate. So, uh, hey, good job!

And THAT'S How Baby Zebras Are Made

It's time for another one of our chats, bakers. You know, the ones where I give well-reasoned arguments for why you shouldn't wreck things, and you completely ignore me?

You're like my cats, only armed with piping bags instead of hairballs.

No, Professor Fluffypants, no!

Still, as long as I keep lecturing Suki and Eva on proper puke placement ("The tile! AIM FOR THE TILE!") I may as well keep tilting at this particular windmill.

SO... zebra stripes.

(By Sherry O)

These are zebra stripes, bakers.

While these:

...are sperm.

I point this out because a lot of you seem to confuse the two:

...and nobody wants sperm on their birthday cake, you guys.

NOBODY.

Nope.

No, thank you.

Nuh-uh.

What the...?

OH COME ON.
(Who let Professor Fluffypants in here?)

Bottom line, bakers: next time someone asks for zebra stripes, DON'T USE BUTTERCREAM.

Use an airbrush instead!

See?
MUUUUCH better.

Thanks to Laurie P., Barb, Lauren M., Elizabeth, Amber G., Holly C., D'andra B., Courtney G., & Jana W. for showing us what's black and white and wrecked all over.
*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: