Wrecking Dawn

I realize many of you aren't up to date with the Twilight series, but don't worry: I'm here for you.

Besides, according to Wikipedia this latest installment of sparkly vampires and shirt-o-phobic werewolves is really just your basic story of love, marriage, childbirth, and C-sections performed with teeth.

Aren't you glad I went with "teeth" instead of "C-section?"

No?

Oh. Ok. Here ya go:

Um...There's a sucker born every minute?

A few more things you need to know about Twilight:

1. Vampires "sparkle" in almost exactly the way this cake doesn't.

Werewolves, on the other hand...

They glisten.

2. Vampire family trees are really complicated...

...but are perfect for celebrating a 6-year-old's birthday.

3. The red thing is an apple.

Or a tomato, in case you hate the movie.

4. If you're a vampire, then this is a pick-up line:

If not, then no amount of body glitter will help you. Sorry, fellas. (Besides, I'm pretty sure the pink plastic fangs would be a dead giveaway.)

Thanks to wreckporters Cathy B., Heidi D., Kate B., Christopher L., Anony M., Hayley & Hillary, & Jill M. for today's stake-out.

Hey Orlando!  We'll see you tonight at 7pm for our last show.  WOOHOO!!!