The Bad, The Bad, And The Badder
The following cakes were made by professionals, and paid for with actual money.
Do not adjust your screen.
Vicky W. wanted this cake, only in pink and white.
Hm. I wonder how it turned out?
Oh, that's right! This is Cake Wrecks.
BAM!
This next cake is not the wreck.
It's actually what Mary J's half sister's other sister* wanted for her wedding.
(*cousin's nephew's roommate...)
Which Mary J's half sister's other sister apparently bought at a donut shop.
Okay, time for some hard truths here. Are you ready? Here goes:
If your baker makes most of her money selling donuts,
MAYBE DON'T GET YOUR WEDDING CAKE THERE.
(King cakes should be fine, though.)
(OH SNAP!!!)
And finally, Elydia B. writes:
"My wedding was like a fairy tale. The cake was supposed to be from a very prestigious bakery in Tuscany..."
Wait, Tuscany? Like in Italy? Well, since I'm an American and everything I know about Italy involves designer clothes, expensive shoes, and bright red sports cars, I have to assume that the cake would be amazin...
"...but it was like the wicked stepmother portion of the fairy tale!"
AH. Right, then. So here's what she wanted:
Nice! I like how they digitally added in Elydia's monogram for this mock-up; really speaks to a high talent and prof... wait, you added that, Elydia? Oh.
Oh my.
Since I'm speechless, I'll let Elydia finish:
"The cake that we got is about twice the size of me..."
(Hey, the more the merrier, right?)
"...but was a thin layer of cake with STYROFOAM below each layer of the Cool Whip-type frosting."
(Oh. Um. Crunchy?)
"They took one hydrangea and broke it up into four pieces."
(A hydrangea? Where?)
"Honestly, I thought it was a practical joke!"
(Did you check if those "hydrangeas" were actually parsley garnishes from the salad bar? Because if so, then you were TOTALLY punk'd.)
Well, let that be a lesson to you, brides: always sniff your hydrangeas, and never... uh... yeah I got nuthin'.
*****
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