You'll Never Guess What These Were Supposed To Be...

WARNING: Gratuitous, often incomprehensible wang innuendo ahead.

No, no. GUESS:

It's NOT a uterus. Or a ruptured trouser weasel. Scout's honor.

Give up?

It's an exploding thermometer. Like this:

Yep. THAR SHE BLOWS.

This is ALSO not a one-eyed zipper splitter (with accompanying cherry pit):

Nope, it's a kite.

Remember, my friends, no man is an island.

But sometimes his inflatable leg nose is.

We sure see a lot of "balloons" that look more like doggy-paddlin' miracle grow:

(Doggy-paddlin' to freedom.)

...but sometimes the balloons get a bit more... nutty.

Great gobs of pendulous plum pillows!

Whoever did this should be sacked.

Hey, speaking of balls:

Never make Dad the butt of his own cookie cake.

And finally, a self-rising lap baguette the baker was so proud of, she had to put a ribbon on it:

The three "fun-slinger" salute was also a nice touch.

(Although once you see it, the green "slung" bits get pretty dang disturbing.)

Thanks to the appropriately named Phyllis B., Alicia W., Christina M., Jessica N., Kristine C., Lauren B., Sheree K., & Charlie for just being happy to see these wrecks, and not having any butterfly cakes in their pockets.

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I typed in my favorite phrase from this post ("inflatable leg nose") into Amazon just to see what would come up, and you guys, I was not disappointed:

Amazon calls it an "Inflatable Body Suit," but we all know it's for horsing around.

By the by, did you know that anything you purchase through my crazy Amazon links each day helps support the site? 'Cuz it does! So thank you for being awesome.

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And from my other blog, Epbot: