The following cakes were made by professionals, and paid for with actual money.
Do not adjust your screen.
Vicky W. wanted this cake, only in pink and white.
Hm. I wonder how it turned out?
Oh, that's right! This is Cake Wrecks.
BAM!
This next cake is not the wreck.
It's actually what Mary J's half sister's other sister* wanted for her wedding.
(*cousin's nephew's roommate...)
Which Mary J's half sister's other sister apparently bought at a donut shop.
Okay, time for some hard truths here. Are you ready? Here goes:
If your baker makes most of her money selling donuts,
MAYBE DON'T GET YOUR WEDDING CAKE THERE.
(King cakes should be fine, though.)
(OH SNAP!!!)
And finally, Elydia B. writes:
"My wedding was like a fairy tale. The cake was supposed to be from a very prestigious bakery in Tuscany..."
Wait, Tuscany? Like in Italy? Well, since I'm an American and everything I know about Italy involves designer clothes, expensive shoes, and bright red sports cars, I have to assume that the cake would be amazin...
"...but it was like the wicked stepmother portion of the fairy tale!"
AH. Right, then. So here's what she wanted:
Nice! I like how they digitally added in Elydia's monogram for this mock-up; really speaks to a high talent and prof... wait, you added that, Elydia? Oh.
Oh my.
Since I'm speechless, I'll let Elydia finish:
"The cake that we got is about twice the size of me..."
(Hey, the more the merrier, right?)
"...but was a thin layer of cake with STYROFOAM below each layer of the Cool Whip-type frosting."
(Oh. Um. Crunchy?)
"They took one hydrangea and broke it up into four pieces."
(A hydrangea? Where?)
"Honestly, I thought it was a practical joke!"
(Did you check if those "hydrangeas" were actually parsley garnishes from the salad bar? Because if so, then you were TOTALLY punk'd.)
Well, let that be a lesson to you, brides: always sniff your hydrangeas, and never... uh... yeah I got nuthin'.
*****
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