Cry Fowl

THIS JUST IN from WREX-TV:

A toxic icing spill at an area shopping mall has left locals traumatized, confused, and a little peckish:

However, it was in the bakery that results were most devastating, particularly among the turkey cakes.

Some burst into flames:

...others complained of being a bit chilly:

"I'll give you a heads up when it's warmer, guys."

And a few even found themselves on the new literal reality show, "Face Off."

"This punches you in the face with how bad it sucks."

"I liked it!"

"Nobody asked you, Ve."

This guy was spotted rolling down the bread aisle:

He looks fierce, but turned out to be a big cream puff.
(Now he's toast.)

Sadly, the largest percentage of cakes turned into something experts call "poo wangs."

And once a bakery is infested with poo wangs, it's really hard to flush them out.

In the mean time, though, the bakery is having a sale on the classic English dessert, "spotted dick."

So it looks like this situation might have a happy ending, after all.

Thanks to Jayson G., MK, Sara G., Lisa P., Judi I., Nat B., Wendy C., & Laurence R. for the spot of English culture.

Whiskey. Turkey. Foxtrot.

Think all those turkey cakes are bad?

Well, they are.

But these are worse:

1. Mildly amusing idea, SUPER creepy execution:

No. Just... no.

2. "Jack Skellington and the Politically-Incorrect Window Display of Holiday Awkwardness."

With bonus charred turkey flying out of a pumpkin.

3. Evil Zombie Pilgrim:

Yeesh, this reminds me of the bad guy in Disney's Hunchback of Notre Dame. Whatever happened to all the cute little pilgrims?

Oh, wait, here they come!

4. Pilgrims in straitjackets:

You know, I'm starting to think bakers REALLY don't like these guys.

5. Thanksgiving Bachelorette Party:

"Hey, bebeh, do you prefer light meat, or dark?" [eyebrow waggle]

6. "Heeeeeeere's JOHNNY!"

Admit it: you'd order a dozen of these in a heartbeat, just to see your in-laws' reactions.

Actually, Jeannie tells me she HAD to buy this because her cell phone camera wasn't working - and this obviously needed to be documented for posterity. POSTERITY THANKS YOU, JEANNIE.

Posterity also thanks Megan L., Christie C., Jamie N., Rob, & Laurie R. for the excellent wreckporting.