Whiskey. Turkey. Foxtrot.

Think all those turkey cakes are bad?

Well, they are.

But these are worse:

1. Mildly amusing idea, SUPER creepy execution:

No. Just... no.

2. "Jack Skellington and the Politically-Incorrect Window Display of Holiday Awkwardness."

With bonus charred turkey flying out of a pumpkin.

3. Evil Zombie Pilgrim:

Yeesh, this reminds me of the bad guy in Disney's Hunchback of Notre Dame. Whatever happened to all the cute little pilgrims?

Oh, wait, here they come!

4. Pilgrims in straitjackets:

You know, I'm starting to think bakers REALLY don't like these guys.

5. Thanksgiving Bachelorette Party:

"Hey, bebeh, do you prefer light meat, or dark?" [eyebrow waggle]

6. "Heeeeeeere's JOHNNY!"

Admit it: you'd order a dozen of these in a heartbeat, just to see your in-laws' reactions.

Actually, Jeannie tells me she HAD to buy this because her cell phone camera wasn't working - and this obviously needed to be documented for posterity. POSTERITY THANKS YOU, JEANNIE.

Posterity also thanks Megan L., Christie C., Jamie N., Rob, & Laurie R. for the excellent wreckporting.