Show Offs

Sometimes the things bakeries put in their display windows make you wonder: they do want people to buy their cakes, right?

Poor Thomas. All that pastel and plastic flotsam have turned him into the little engine that could - in a pinch - kill you.

Some people are afraid of clowns. Other people are afraid of robots.

Two groups, one cake:

YOU WISH ME TO THROW CREAM PIES? I'M SORRY, DAVE. I'M AFRAID I CAN'T DO THAT. YOU SEE, I'M LACTOSE INTOLERANT.

If you're not afraid of clowns or robots, though, then this next specimen has you covered.

I can't quite pin it down, but something about this cake really bugs me.

Everybody knows nothing draws in the crowds quite like big-time Hollywood celebrities, though. So hey, why not feature Patrick Swayze, Michael Jackson, and Heath Ledger all in the same cake?

Well, I did say IN.

Oh, and if you're wondering what all those brown pellets are, there's a nice big rubber rat on hand to point your thoughts in the right direction. Yummm.

Bakers, just remember: the important thing with display cakes is to show potential customers what you're made of. Show them your raw talent, your years of experience, your impeccable sense of form and style, your...uh...

...your pipe cleaners?

Um. Ok. Yeah. You, go, you! Bend those pipe cleaners! And then...then smash them into that icing! Yeah! Woo! Haha!

Eric D., Monique R., Amy N., Vic., & Jill B., with time and effort you, too, might one day master the pipe cleaner arch.

UPDATE: Hey, would you believe that today is actually HAL 9000's birthday? Finally, my knack for unintentionally posting news-relevant entries results in something good!

- Related Wreckage: Bakery PSA