Flip Flops (Hey, Look, a Built-In Pun!)

I once read one of those "You know you're a Floridian when..." lists, and number five was "...you wear flip-flops to a wedding."

Now, as a long-time Florida resident, I feel I should defend my fellow Sunshine Staters by informing the rest of you that they make some *very* dressy flip-flops. Have you seen the ones with the little rhinestones on the straps? [sing-song voice] Daaar-ling! And totally black-tie appropriate, I might add.

Anyway, during the summer months it quickly becomes obvious which Wreckerators have not only never worn flip-flops, but have probably never even seen a pair, either.

If these look right to you, get thee to a podiatrist! Stat!

What the...?

Good grief, that almost makes the cupcake cake [patooie!] version look decent:

Wait.
No...no, it doesn't. Never mind.

Aha! Well there's your problem: these aren't flip-flops, they're "flipp flopps."
Must be a Canadian thing.*

It gets worse when Wreckerators introduce a 3D element:

I honestly have no idea what that is jammed into the cake: Ribbon? Plastic? A moldy fruit roll-up? Bottom line: if you have to ask, don't eat it.

Here's one using either a piece of electrical wiring or a radioactive Twizzler:

But the airbrushing is what really sells it.

Of course, jamming a bit of ribbon or "candy" into a cake for the flip-flop strap is awfully complicated. Someone was bound to screw it up eventually:

*headdesk*

Shana M., Kelly M., Hannah H., Xiaomi Q, Beth C., D'Anna, & Gins V., thanks for taking a step in the wreck direction.

*Yes, actually, I do think that's funny. (Love ya, Canada!)

Note from john - Sorry everybody; I didn't get to comments for fifteen minutes and it appears we have a "bacon" EPCOT. Completely my fault. Sorry and wreck on!

UPDATE: Once again, Google Adsense wins the day! Check out the screen shot Tara G. sent in:

"Flip-Flops in BRIDESMAIDS Colors"
Bwahahahahaa!!