Let's Get Physiological
A tale...of where you came from.

And some say it's Superman:
Which, if you think about it, makes about as much sense as the stork.
These are all lies.
And I think it's high time you learned the truth.
The truth is, you didn't arrive by bird, plane, or Kryptonian. You arrived by:

And by "ram" I mean "Mommy's magic baby bag."
See, it all started with these brave little tadpoles:

It all started with these brave gigantic tadpoles.
Together the tadpoles ventured through the winding Fallopian Forests of Ovarium, fought the wily Va-dragon, and ultimately joined forces with the mighty She-Ra in the magic baby bag.
At first you were really ugly. Barely even edible, really:

(*flick flick flick*)

Finally the emotional day arrived, and your mother and I were simply overcome at the thought of witnessing such a beautiful spectacle of radiant new life. [sigh]

Oh, don't look so worried. You turned out fine.
Thanks to wreckporters Paula L., Elizabeth S., Cariena B., Reed D., Valerie B., Kate M., Ashlee, Amber M., & Anony M., who will never hear "Rainbow Connection" the same way again.