Well, MY Childhood Is Ruined

 [singing] "M-I-C..."

I see BOOBIES!

"K-E-Y...."

[sobbing] WHY? WHY? WHY??

"Mic-key, O-M-GEEEE!"

[crickets chirping]

So...

While we all struggle to cope with this assault on our inner child, I have a few questions:

1. Is Mickey protecting the boobies? 'Cuz he looks like he's going, "Whoah, whoah, whoah, there, kids! Nuthin' to see here! Move along! Ha-hyuck!" (Wait, that's Goofy's laugh, isn't it? Sorry. I guess Mickey's is more of a "Hoo-HOO!" WHICH IS TOTALLY APPROPRIATE, DON'T YOU AGREE?

2. Why is Mickey sitting on a big red dot? Is that the panic button? Because, I mean, if *I* had a panic button, I would totally be clicking it right now.

3. Boob cakes are usually made for bachelor parties. That's not a question; I just want you to think about that for a minute.

(Look, at some point this gets so disturbing that it rounds the bend back to "funny" again. I'm just doing my part to get us all to that point.)

And finally, and most importantly:

4. Does Minnie know about this?

Thanks - I think - to L.P., whose only explanation was, "It's hard to explain." Do tell, L.P.  DO TELL.