Expect Less. Laugh More.

Have a heart, bakers.

Don't do this:

And never promise the bride this:

When you're going to deliver this:

Hey, while I've got you here, let's talk about zebra stripes:

THESE ARE ZEBRA STRIPES.

These, on the other hand ...

Well, I'm pretty sure those are zebra sperm.

But then again, things tend to be pretty black and white with me.

And finally, bakers, just because you might question a couple's choice for their wedding cake order:

... that's no reason to punish them further!

("Hey, you with the shotgun. Put this cake out of its misery.")

Thanks to Anony M., Courtney T., Michelle T., & RT for the bang-up job hunting these down.