Expect Less. Laugh More.
Have a heart, bakers.

Don't do this:

And never promise the bride this:

When you're going to deliver this:

Hey, while I've got you here, let's talk about zebra stripes:

THESE ARE ZEBRA STRIPES.
These, on the other hand ...

Well, I'm pretty sure those are zebra sperm.
But then again, I tend to see things in black and white.
And finally, bakers, just because you might question a couple's choice for their wedding cake order:

... that's no reason to punish them further!

("Hey, you with the shotgun. Put this cake out of its misery.")
Thanks to Anony M., Courtney T., Michelle T., & RT for the bang-up job hunting these down.
*****
In my quest to fill the house with ALL RAINBOWS, I found these beauties:
Color-Changing LED Nightlight, 2 Pack
They have 3 different color modes, come in white or silver bases, and are on sale this week: $10 for 2!