Armed To The Tea

Have you ever wandered through a bakery and thought, "Man, I could really go for a cake shaped like an arm holding a cup of hair right now"?

Well if so, then YOU are a very disturbed individual. Seriously. Maybe you should talk to someone.

But also, you're in luck!

Now, I know what you're thinking, and I completely agree. TOTALLY. But where would we even get a robot monkey at this hour? 

You may also be wondering where the hair is.

There it is!

("I see...THE GRIM. And he's shedding like crazy.")

I'd say it looks like someone plucked out their mustache, but only because there are children present and I wouldn't want this to get too...public. (HI, KIDS.) I'd also go out on a limb and say this baker has single-handedly created the most disarming assault on the funny bone yet - but only because puns make me snort-giggle.

But in case that's not enough hair for you, fear not; there's more!

Ick.

Er, I mean...talk about a hairy situation that must have taken a lot of elbow grease! Haha!

K, I think that's all I've got. SO, let the Professor Trelawney jokes...begin.

Thanks to Julia for reminding us of our universal right to bare arms. (Ok, that's the last one. Promise.)

The Bride and Groan

In case you missed it yesterday, something HUGE happened here on CW: we had our very first Sunday Sweets proposal!! (And even better, she said yes!)

So today's post is dedicated to the happy couple, Zach and Savannah. That's right, you two: while you're basking in the bliss of the newly engaged, I figured we should take this opportunity to consider the next most important cake in your lives: your weddding cake.

Now, I know I feature a lot of wedding wrecks, and I know a lot of folks will point out that asking for a fondant design recreated in buttercream is asking for disaster, but don't you worry. I'm here to help. After all, this is what Leah D. ordered for HER wedding cake:

And look what she got!

It's the tinfoil-covered cookie sheet that really sells it.

Ok, yes, it's a wreck. BUT - did you notice how the inspiration cake was all buttercream, and the wreck itself is fondant? I'm just sayin'. It works both ways.

Now, don't you feel better?

No?

Ok, then how about what Susan A. ordered for her wedding? 

 

 Not a great picture (you don't see mimeographs much these days), but I think you get the general idea.

 And here's what Susan got:

Granted, I'm not sure how this is supposed to make you feel better, but trust me, guys: the REST of us are feeling grrrrr-REAT. (John! Go make some popcorn! These are gettin' GOOD.)

Sara M. wanted her wedding cake to be a hunk a' hunk a' burnin' love:

 

The cake! The cake! The cake is on FI-YUR!

But instead, her cake just suffered from a mild burning sensation and performance issues:

 

Wah-WAAAAH.

(That was my attempt at a slide-rule trombone effect. I know: I'm a veritable foley artist with words.)

And finally, Elizabeth P. dreamed a dream of ribbon-wrapped sweetness for her big day:

...but ended up with something only a mummy could love:

 Ouch. Uh...that's a wrap!

Thanks to all of today's brides, and congrats again to Zach and Savannah! Just remember, guys: wreck or Sweet, we're gonna need to see your wedding cake! (Oh, and we're all invited, right? RIGHT?!)