Your first mistake, my dear Wreckies, was in being so positive and supportive of yesterday's post that some of you even asked to see some of the posts John *won't* let me publish.
So again, in my defense: you asked for it.
Here's one that's been languishing in my drafts folder for nearly a year, and it still makes me snort-giggle - but I can guarantee there is NO WAY you all will find it as amusing as I do. You just won't. Trust me. You'll think it's cute and adorable and I'm a terrible person for laughing.
Or you'll laugh, too, and then we can nod knowingly at each other from across crowded rooms, as if to say, "Yeah, I'm a terrible person, too. S'all good."

Sadly, God neglected to add air holes.
Thanks to Anony M., the first newly inducted member of the Terrible Person Club.